Rajinikanth in and as Iron Man

I saw Iron Man over the memorial day weekend. I have to say - the script has fallen into the wrong hands. I know... I know... it is the rare critically praised blockbuster but I still say that this script did not call for a Favareu-Downey collaboration. Instead it should be, stay with me here, wait for it... a Rajini-Shankar movie. I am so glad this blog is not hosted on Rediff - the outrage would be, as Michael Scott would say, incalculacable. So, yeah, my take on the whole Iron Man experience is that it should be a Rajini-Shankar movie.

I took some time to recall the movie in its entirety after I got back home. Wifey has pretty much started ignoring the zombie unresponsive glazed eyes mode that I fall into. The only time she interferes is when I am driving (sometimes on the shoulder). This particular reverie was devoted to Rajinification of Iron Man. 

 

The movie at its core is a true superhero movie recalled in many different ways in earlier comic strips and movies. So, I hope I am not giving too much away.

I want to start off with the Las Vegas bit that is shown in the movie. Only here it is a seven star hotel somewhere in India. There is some award presentation ceremony for our hero (a genius scientist specializing in state of the art weapons) and instead of our hero his trusted business partner, Obediyah Steyene, receives the award. Now, for this Obadiah Steyne character - complete with bald pate, white beard and regal features,  I want Shankar to rope in Naseerunddin Shah. Come on, its high time we moved upwards of Aashish Vidhyarthi. So, casting coup number one - Naseeruddin Shah as Ulaganathan Shastri(or some harmless regional last name).

So, the crowd is wondering where the hero is and we find badass Superstar romping with the chicks in a discotheque complete with introduction song a la "Aasai nooru vagai vaazhvil nooru suvai vaa". Rajinikanth is the desi Tony Stark - I am at a loss for mythological names here that will suit Thalaivar's image. Maybe something generic like Thiruchelvan, Thiru for short. Regardless, Rajini is one of the best badass players Kollywood. A few one liners and a couple of punch lines ("Thirooooo da!" is an easy one) and we should be in for a great start to the movie. The slide show featuring Tony Stark's rise can be substituted with shots of Thalaivar's past successes - why not!

Iron Man features a reporter character that the hero 'uses'. In the Rajinification process, this can be the second heroine and she can feature in the intro song. Jarvis, the electronic butler provides a few laughs in the movie and this is the not-so-electronic Vivek/Vadivelu character in the Rajini flick. Tony's secretary and secret admirer, Pepper Pots, is of course enacted by the as of now elusive to Thamizh audience, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan. 

As this is a Shankar movie, there has to be an undercurrent 'message' of anti-corruption somewhere in the system. The hero is initially aiding and abetting but eventually abolishes the source of this corruption. We need to work on that. Where do the anti social elements in South India buy their weapons? Hmmm... maybe that's where the corruption is. Thiruchelvan creates a multitude of weapons thinking that it is for the Indian Armed Forces while it is being secretly sold to different shady groups. He is absolutely unaware of this and it is all Ulaganathan Shastri's doing. Shastri is just a weapons pimp wearing business suits.

Thiru finds himself at the wrong place one hour into the movie and is injured, captured and locked down in an adda by the kettavaa. The leader of this particular brand of thugs is some bearded guy with no scruples - it could be that guy from Sathya - Charavarthy. Chakravarthy wants Thiru to build a weapon of mass destruction. Thiru has a Nasser like character for company in the cell while he recovers from his injuries. During this time Thiru realizes that he has been unwittingly helping the villains through his inventions. He starts working on an armor and a plan to escape while a song a la "Vetri nichchayam idhu vedha sathiyam" plays in the background. Nasser dies while helping him escape. A fantastic action sequence where Thalaivar annihilates an entire army of thadiyans follows. After he blows up the adda punctuated by one liners and the camera focuses on the burning embers reflected in his eyes... Intermission.

His army friend (taking a cue from Kuselan, it can be Pasupathi or even Napolean, very regal in 10avataram) who has been searching for him finds him (sans armor of course) wandering in the Deccan Plateau somewhere and whisks him back to the real world.

Reporters (mainly the second heroine) clamor to interview Thiru who promises a different direction for his weapons company and earns Shastri-ji's disapproval. There is a series of covert operations with Thalaivar in armour going after different kalla parts with sidekick comedian and sometimes Thalaive for company. A racy song can find its way in here. Grandiose sets built at the cost of Uganda's GDP should just about do it.

Press and public hail the exploits of this mystery man and gives him some catchy name (which is of course the movie's title). Somewhere around this time, Thalaivar mellows and has a couple of soft moments with Thalaivi. The Tony Stark-Pepper Pots moment in the dressed-up ball so demanded a duet song!

Then it is all business. Shastri-ji puts two and two together. Develops an even better armor based on Thalaivar's design. Seems to do all but kill Thalaivar. Thalaivar resurrects himself with Napolean and Thalaivi's help and puts and end to Shastri and ergo the corruption in the system. Twenty five years down the line, India and eventually the world is a weapons-free paradise.

Maybe we should call this movie... Robo(t)! Ta da