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Wednesday

(Jelly) bean there, won that


Nothing upsets my health more than watching India lose a game of cricket. It leaves me with what the modern age Iceman, Steve Waugh, likes to call "mental disintegration". It is accompanied by nausea, depression and weight gain. It also leads to temporary hearing loss when Ravi Shastri and co. sit down to analyze why India lost. Finally, I become selectively illiterate for a week at least - nothing on any cricket site registers in my mind. I had resigned myself to thinking that there is no immediate remedy to this disease (medical name ATISS - Acute TeamIndiaSucks Syndrome ) short of Indian Cricket board deciding that they will spend money on nurturing talent - that's what delirium does to you. The English cricket team, descendants of Dr. W.G.Grace, found an easier 'earthy' remedy - Jelly Beans. For this medicine to work, spray the pills in the general area of the Indian team's spearhead, sit back and crumble. As simple as that. ATISS is well contained and the symptoms do not surface (and how!).

If I were a mean person, I would suggest that Mr.Bean looks saner next to the Jelly Bean promoters that is the English Cricket team. I might even suggest a Jelly Bean re-mix of MJ's "Billy Jean" - "Jelly Bean is not my lover". I am not a mean person. Just a smug Indian Cricket Fan who can't help notice that the next match is at the Oval - the very shape of a Jelly Bean.

2 comments:

  1. Rajkumar3:23 PM

    I have recovered from my ATISS partially. I might get it back if our Indian follows the tradition - win first test... lost the next one... and lost/draw the series.

    BTW, Oval pitch is traditionally a batting wicket and I can sight a recovery for my ATISS.

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  2. For a decade now, I have shed patriotism as far as cricket is concerned. In today's economic parlance, Rupee is strong, not because Indian economy is strong totally, but because the USD is weaker. Similarly,Indian cricket loses to better cricket only - not jelly beans and peanuts! Good post anyway.

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